What Happened to a Year?

 
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April 15th we celebrated my son's first birthday. It was amazing! We had so many friends and family who came out to help celebrate, filling up our house with cheer and the fact that we all (River, Kevin and myself) made it through this first year as parents and child with out dying. I say that's success!

I would love to say that this year has been magical, life changing and #blessed. Even though some of the statements are true (depending on the day) I also feel like there was a whole other world of sleeplessness, sadness, and frustration that took place that no one really wanted to talk about. Becoming a parents is a whole new game where you are basically making it up as you go along because believe it or not, babies don't come with an instruction manual. Even though there are tons of books out there to help you prepare and give you tips, it's not always going to be accurate for your child because every baby is different. River does things when he feels is right for him and I had to learn very quickly (and still learning) that he will get to the places he needs to go (like sleeping in his own crib which FINALLY happened just before his first birthday, which I'm only assuming was a gift to me). Being patient and understanding that this process of raising a child will take time is easier said then done and River isn't the only one growing.

 
Me finally brushing my teeth but at least I got my haircut! 

Me finally brushing my teeth but at least I got my haircut! 

Kevin and River on their hikes.

Kevin and River on their hikes.

 

As we see River grow each month I also see me and Kevin grow. We have slowly been learning and adapting to our new lives as mom and dad to this little dude. He depends on us and looks up to us to show and teach him to be part of this world. It's pretty amazing to see him start to develop his own personality and how goofy and social he's becoming. At his party he weaved in and out of about 30 people with a smile on his face enjoying the fact that everyone was here to celebrate and be around him. It's going to be cool to see him really flourish and come into himself and really get into exploring the world around him and create fun worlds together. 

 
Kate & Charlie with me and River. Charlie was born 1 week after River so they (and me and Kate) have a special bond as we went (and continue to go through) these milestones/events at the same time. It's always nice to have that person to text in the middle of the night that will be there to support you and make you feel less insane!

Kate & Charlie with me and River. Charlie was born 1 week after River so they (and me and Kate) have a special bond as we went (and continue to go through) these milestones/events at the same time. It's always nice to have that person to text in the middle of the night that will be there to support you and make you feel less insane!

 

One thing that has been great has been having my strong community of Mama's there to support me (and each other) when we are scared/confused/guilty/tired/excited/proud etc. We are all so supportive of one another because we know how hard it is to endure so much pressure on how we are supposed to be so many things (caretaker, wife, working mom, stay at home mom, breakdancer, comedian, boss etc) and how it will probably continue to be tough to balance and figure it out. There's so much respect to my Mama's out there and how we go day by day raising these babies (and maybe with help from partners) to be awesome humans for the future. Thank you for being there and supporting me and know I'm always there for you too! 

As I write this all out it still seems very surreal to me that I have a 1 year old. I don't believe that it's been a year since he popped out of me and he's grown so much. I'm anxious to see how this next year will be and what adventures and challenges we might have to face. So, lets all celebrate together at the success and failures we've endured through out this first year and know that we've got a whole fun adventure to come! AND LETS EAT SOME FUCKING CAKE!

 
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Stacie Sells